PEEPS!!!!!
sup y'all?? its been a loooooong time, i know.......... but believe me there was no way i could get near a computer.... frankly my college is a loser college.... i dont want to go into the details.... just let it be stated that it truly sucks. like, no sports for girls, for instance.... but thats mainly coz my branch is a different college all together from the engg block and so far has only 2 batches.... what to do?
anyway, the plus point is that i 've got an amazing class... all the guys and girls are really nice and some of them are basically like kids...lol...its fun. most of us are 17-18 yrs old... but there are these 5 guys who've done diploma courses, and 2 of them are past 20.... got a bit of a shock when i found out....lol....
i finally turned 18!!! very few people remembered to wish me tho....:(..... like MARYANN, my supposed best friend... but anyways, i celebrated in hostel and in class.... the class celebration was the best.... they all surprised me with a chocolate cream cake! it was awesome.... we celebrated it during lunch break, and everybody gave me a chocolate facial...LOL! it was a really fun day.... reminded me of all the fun we used to have back in school... giving surprise parties to everyone.... beena's was always the best... we surprised her 2 years in a row! haha....
the guys in my class call me aanakutty or kuruvikoodu(this is reference to my short and very bouncy, messy hair).... actually everyone's got a nickname in class... it was an assignment given to one of the guys by the seniors... our seniors are pretty cool... they were strict in the beginning but are easing up on us now... we're having our Freshers Party soon(hopefully)....
my course is really fun too,other than the fact that we have to study math, which is a subject almost everybody fails. thankfully i'll only have it for the 1st sem, unless i dont pass it the first time....God help... my other subjects are history of architecture, art appreciation, computers(AUTOCAD), architectural drawing-1, basic design and, materials and construction. sounds funny doesnt it.... actually now i feel weird when i hear engg students say that they gotta study phys, chem and math and all that boring stuff( sorry all u engg peeps... this is just my opinion)
there's such a lot of drawing involved.... most of us are down with back aches, stiff necks and sore feet cuz we're standing over our drawing boards most of the time. me not so much cuz i take a break every 5-10 minutes and walk around talking to my classmates on the pretext of asking a doubt or looking for my eraser which someone always borrows without telling me, which means i have to go to every table and whisper, "did u take my rubber?".... u know,that actually sounds kind of sick...lol...
yeah well.... now that i'm back home, i'm missing my friends... i dont like being back in kerala, mainly cuz the minute i step foot back in my homeland i start itching...lol...i have this weird allergic reaction to this place.... its not mosquitoes...i just get these weird rashes... and besides i have to stay with my very young cousins, who are always fighting and shouting and insulting each other and after a while one cant help but get pissed off... mahn... its funny how i realised just how much i had missed being in the company of my peers for the four months that i had stayed in kerala. the only thing i dont miss about hostel is the food...i swear that stuff is shit...it seriously sucks...
anyways, thats all i have for the moment... i'll log in later, maybe tomorrow....
peace out y'all...
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Time To Go...
hey readers....
this is gonna be a very quick and short blog... i had the bestest last week in Kerala before i left. yup...i'm going to college!! they only notified me of this fact day before yesterday. lazy college people...do they have any idea how much a person has to pack to leave to someplace? i mean... we are shifting our entire lives to a whole new situation after all... well whatever... the bottom line is that i'm leaving tomorrow morning to coimbatore... i still have to buy a mattress and all... i wonder how i'll manage all these things... there's soo much left to do!!!
anyway people, i'll try to check into my blog as soon and as often as i can. and since i dont know when that will be, i'm saying Adios! till then...
good luck y'all!!
this is gonna be a very quick and short blog... i had the bestest last week in Kerala before i left. yup...i'm going to college!! they only notified me of this fact day before yesterday. lazy college people...do they have any idea how much a person has to pack to leave to someplace? i mean... we are shifting our entire lives to a whole new situation after all... well whatever... the bottom line is that i'm leaving tomorrow morning to coimbatore... i still have to buy a mattress and all... i wonder how i'll manage all these things... there's soo much left to do!!!
anyway people, i'll try to check into my blog as soon and as often as i can. and since i dont know when that will be, i'm saying Adios! till then...
good luck y'all!!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Long Time, No Blog!
heya peeps...
sooo sorry that I havent written in here for so long. somehow i just didnt feel like it.
a lot has happened in the past one month. namely that my parents left, i cut my hair short again, and that i am very nearly bankrupt. boo hoo....
this is the first time that i have ever become bankrupt. and its mainly 'coz i spent a lot on my cousins and my sister...so all for a good cause. my college call letter hasnt arrived yet. no worries though... management says i'm definitely in.
lately, i've been feeling lonely. i wish my friends were around. now i cant even call anyone because my call credit is very very low. bummer. thank God for the internet. i would be so outta touch otherwise. lol...
its funny how when i lie down to sleep, i get good topics to write about, but when i sit in front of the computer i cant think of a thing..... lol....
yesterday, Arun and I had a very nice chat. he also read my poems and I guess he really liked them. he even compared me to Arundhati Roy!! well, i never read AR, despite the fact that my Grandfather has the book... but still!! she did win the booker prize! (it WAS the Booker, right?) anyways....
i wish that i could fly. at least that way i could go whereever i wanted and nobody could control me... lol... but we all know that will never happen... anyways, it got me thinking of a poem i had written aroung 3 years ago... it goes like this...
sooo sorry that I havent written in here for so long. somehow i just didnt feel like it.
a lot has happened in the past one month. namely that my parents left, i cut my hair short again, and that i am very nearly bankrupt. boo hoo....
this is the first time that i have ever become bankrupt. and its mainly 'coz i spent a lot on my cousins and my sister...so all for a good cause. my college call letter hasnt arrived yet. no worries though... management says i'm definitely in.
lately, i've been feeling lonely. i wish my friends were around. now i cant even call anyone because my call credit is very very low. bummer. thank God for the internet. i would be so outta touch otherwise. lol...
its funny how when i lie down to sleep, i get good topics to write about, but when i sit in front of the computer i cant think of a thing..... lol....
yesterday, Arun and I had a very nice chat. he also read my poems and I guess he really liked them. he even compared me to Arundhati Roy!! well, i never read AR, despite the fact that my Grandfather has the book... but still!! she did win the booker prize! (it WAS the Booker, right?) anyways....
i wish that i could fly. at least that way i could go whereever i wanted and nobody could control me... lol... but we all know that will never happen... anyways, it got me thinking of a poem i had written aroung 3 years ago... it goes like this...
THE RESTLESS SPIRIT
This day seems completely lacking
In a certain degree of slacking
O! woe to the tumbling tide
It cannot its pattern decide.
O! woe to the mechanical clock
Which cannot decipher tick from tock
O! woe to the swinging pendulum
It doesnt know peace from pandemonium
Doesnt it seem completely absurd
Confusion just isnt a word?
O! woe to the earth on its axis
It doesnt know death from taxes
(But what do humans know anyway?)
I'd take on Hercules any day...
I'm happy I'm not a puny ant
I wouldnt be able o even stop and pant
And what use is a whole lot of teaching?
Students dont listen to preaching!
How can the moon replace the sun
When it wasnt told to, by anyone?
Why do plants leap up from the ground
If only to die- wilted and bowed?
It's better I dont waste time and wonder
Why i cant sit still any longer...
its a bit immature. but i still kinda like it. i must have been in the 9th or 8th grade when i wrote this...dont really remember. anyways, i'll stop for the mo'. i gotta check out and print some info for my cousins. they have these projects and I have to do the research...
Friday, July 27, 2007
hola!
finally! i get to update my blog again! yesterday, try as i might, this computer would not allow me access to my hotmail, orkut and blogger account. imagine how frustrating that was... anyways, i'm finally here so let me update y'all on all the recent events in my life.
as i had previously written, my dad was due to arrive as was the latest Harry Potter. By God's grace my dad arrived safe and sound, albeit a bit tired. but that is only to be expected. he also brought me a few gifts. the first being chocolate(ahh...how i had missed CHOCOLATE...from Riyadh... nothing like 'em) and the other being my very own digital camera! YAY!! a digi cam was one of the few advances in technology that i had kept asking him to get, since our old camera is from the 19th century... lol..just kidding... but that camera is as old as ME, and Earth has come a long way these last 17 years.
i also got my HP copy. and it was fabulous. the plot of this book is one of the most complicated I have ever read. all the questions that were left hanging in the last coupla books are finally answered. questions such as 'who is R.A.B?' or 'Is Severus Snape a good guy/bad guy' and the big one - 'why did Dumbledore trust Snape?'. and the answers were marvelous. at least,I think so.Sagar doesnt think so and he said as much in his last comment here. but i on the other and more heavier hand, think that the book was simply awesome.
most of my friends are now in their respective colleges. Shilpa called me just yesterday and told me about her seniors and the way they boss them around and give them all these rules to follow. apparently the ragging is state-wise. like, senior mallus rag junior mallus and such. in NIT Trichy on the other hand, the ragging is NRI-NRI based. the Tamilians dont bother with NRI's much. funny how each place has its own ragging rules? i wonder what my college will be like? i guess i'll know in a week or two. Lord...
i guess thats pretty much it for the mo'.
laters, all.
finally! i get to update my blog again! yesterday, try as i might, this computer would not allow me access to my hotmail, orkut and blogger account. imagine how frustrating that was... anyways, i'm finally here so let me update y'all on all the recent events in my life.
as i had previously written, my dad was due to arrive as was the latest Harry Potter. By God's grace my dad arrived safe and sound, albeit a bit tired. but that is only to be expected. he also brought me a few gifts. the first being chocolate(ahh...how i had missed CHOCOLATE...from Riyadh... nothing like 'em) and the other being my very own digital camera! YAY!! a digi cam was one of the few advances in technology that i had kept asking him to get, since our old camera is from the 19th century... lol..just kidding... but that camera is as old as ME, and Earth has come a long way these last 17 years.
i also got my HP copy. and it was fabulous. the plot of this book is one of the most complicated I have ever read. all the questions that were left hanging in the last coupla books are finally answered. questions such as 'who is R.A.B?' or 'Is Severus Snape a good guy/bad guy' and the big one - 'why did Dumbledore trust Snape?'. and the answers were marvelous. at least,I think so.Sagar doesnt think so and he said as much in his last comment here. but i on the other and more heavier hand, think that the book was simply awesome.
most of my friends are now in their respective colleges. Shilpa called me just yesterday and told me about her seniors and the way they boss them around and give them all these rules to follow. apparently the ragging is state-wise. like, senior mallus rag junior mallus and such. in NIT Trichy on the other hand, the ragging is NRI-NRI based. the Tamilians dont bother with NRI's much. funny how each place has its own ragging rules? i wonder what my college will be like? i guess i'll know in a week or two. Lord...
i guess thats pretty much it for the mo'.
laters, all.
Friday, July 20, 2007
A Day With A Slight Difference
hola dear blog readers!
today is a special day for me. my dad is coming back from Riyadh. it will be the first time that i've seen him in 3 months. its unbelievable how time flies. i cant believe i've been here for almost four months and my mum and sis have been here for a whole month. and i havent done anything worthwhile or of note, except maybe start this blog. but since none of my family, except Yvonne, my sister(and she says she doesnt see the point of a blog), knows that i have one, i guess it doesnt really count. but i really enjoy this, nevertheless...
what else.... i guess u all know that the next Harry Potter book will be out tomorrow....i cant wait to get my hands on my copy. by this time tomorrow, i will probably be halfway through it! depending on what time i get it, of course. lol... reading has always been my first love. i guess i can honestly say that there is no better companion than a good book. and i expect this next book to be AWESOME, not just good. i have all the other HP books with the exception of Half-Blood Prince. dang it... i cant believe this book is gonna cost me nearly a thousand rupees... but i'm also getting 2 educatonal cd's with it. one Brittanica cd and one Oxford Talking Dictionary cd. i thought it would be useful for my sis. i really hope its worth it.
i talked to my uncle Dani today and i asked him what he was going to name the baby. after all, we cant just go around calling him 'the baby'. he told me he hadnt totally decided just yet but he would most probably name him Denzel. i'm psyched! i had actually thought about suggesting just that name to him, among a couple of others. another thing about me is that i like naming people. i have this strange affinity for cool, classic and christian names.
oh, before i forget... i want to thank my cousin Bobby for commenting on my previous blog. one thing i like about Bobby is that he's one of the very few people i know who can take my sarcasm and give it right back at me. for some very weird reason i cant stand people who are overly nice to me. i dont mean that i like rude, insensitive, snobby brats. but i just cant stand sugar-dripping. i hate it when a person is trying to be fake with me or lie to me. it really puts my guard up. usually when people are that nice to you, it means that they want something.
a lot of my friends are leaving to their respective colleges today. Beena's going to attend Vimla Women's College, Thrissur. Nimisha's off to NIT Nagpur, Geslin and Sharika are off to NIT Trichy and Shadia is gonna be at NIT, Allahabad. oh, and Anto and the other Dammamies who got into NIT Calicut are going too... thats quite a lot of people!
wow... so all the best, u guys... its been so awesome studyin with you or playing and chillin with y'all. what a ride we had together, eh? and now we're all going our separate directions, on different rides, hoping that we'll end up at the various destination we're aspiring to get to.
take care and God bless..
peace out..
ann
today is a special day for me. my dad is coming back from Riyadh. it will be the first time that i've seen him in 3 months. its unbelievable how time flies. i cant believe i've been here for almost four months and my mum and sis have been here for a whole month. and i havent done anything worthwhile or of note, except maybe start this blog. but since none of my family, except Yvonne, my sister(and she says she doesnt see the point of a blog), knows that i have one, i guess it doesnt really count. but i really enjoy this, nevertheless...
what else.... i guess u all know that the next Harry Potter book will be out tomorrow....i cant wait to get my hands on my copy. by this time tomorrow, i will probably be halfway through it! depending on what time i get it, of course. lol... reading has always been my first love. i guess i can honestly say that there is no better companion than a good book. and i expect this next book to be AWESOME, not just good. i have all the other HP books with the exception of Half-Blood Prince. dang it... i cant believe this book is gonna cost me nearly a thousand rupees... but i'm also getting 2 educatonal cd's with it. one Brittanica cd and one Oxford Talking Dictionary cd. i thought it would be useful for my sis. i really hope its worth it.
i talked to my uncle Dani today and i asked him what he was going to name the baby. after all, we cant just go around calling him 'the baby'. he told me he hadnt totally decided just yet but he would most probably name him Denzel. i'm psyched! i had actually thought about suggesting just that name to him, among a couple of others. another thing about me is that i like naming people. i have this strange affinity for cool, classic and christian names.
oh, before i forget... i want to thank my cousin Bobby for commenting on my previous blog. one thing i like about Bobby is that he's one of the very few people i know who can take my sarcasm and give it right back at me. for some very weird reason i cant stand people who are overly nice to me. i dont mean that i like rude, insensitive, snobby brats. but i just cant stand sugar-dripping. i hate it when a person is trying to be fake with me or lie to me. it really puts my guard up. usually when people are that nice to you, it means that they want something.
a lot of my friends are leaving to their respective colleges today. Beena's going to attend Vimla Women's College, Thrissur. Nimisha's off to NIT Nagpur, Geslin and Sharika are off to NIT Trichy and Shadia is gonna be at NIT, Allahabad. oh, and Anto and the other Dammamies who got into NIT Calicut are going too... thats quite a lot of people!
wow... so all the best, u guys... its been so awesome studyin with you or playing and chillin with y'all. what a ride we had together, eh? and now we're all going our separate directions, on different rides, hoping that we'll end up at the various destination we're aspiring to get to.
take care and God bless..
peace out..
ann
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Good News And Sad News
hello all....
the good news is this: as of yesterday, i have a new baby cousin!!! YAY!!! remember i had written that one of my aunts was expecting? and i hoped it was a boy? well...it is!! a boy, i mean. lol.... my uncle Dani is as proud as punch. his first son, Damien, is already quite protective of the baby. he calls it 'Damien's baby' and when the baby cries, he admonishes it by saying,'Keep quiet! Sit down!', a phrase he learnt in nursery school.... LOL! isnt that just the cutest thing??? i really wish that i could see the new baby( he hasnt been named yet) and Damien, too. Damien is the cutest lil' kid!!! but they live all the way in bangalore and i am here in kerala. and i cant go because my dad is arriving from riyadh in 3 days and i have to shove off to college by next week!!! Daym!
well...now the sad news.... shilpa has left for NIT Warangal, today. she called me frm the train station to say goodbye. i cant believe she's gone!!! gosh... i feel miserable about the fact that i may never see her again. she's one of the bestest best friends i ever had. and she still is... and now she's gone off to warangal!!!! boo hoo...sob!!! this is a very sad day.....
i was watching the movie Kate & Leopold when she called. K&L is a really good movie as far as romantic movies go. its fun, its sweet and its romantic without going over the top. i think every girl should go out with a Leopold, at least once in her life. i wish i could. but maybe i'm biased because Hugh Jackman played the part( which he does magnificently) and i have had a crush on him FOREVER.... *sigh*.
oooooo....shilpa just called me... her train is late. so she isnt gone just yet... but i guess its inevitable... this is the conundrum called life. sheen, who has been my best friend since God only knows when(and who is in australia now), says that going away to college is an experience i should embrace to start over. i now have the opportunity to live life as i see fit. to make aquaintances with people i have never laid eyes on and who could be an integral part of the next 5 years and possibly, the rest of my life! which is all true. and well and good. but leaving friends is just painful...
last night, i couldnt sleep. so i took up my slam book and started reading. almost all my friends have written in there. shilpa's page was a bit stuck. i told her to make it as colrful and bright as possible, so i would never forget the bright and colorful person she is. therefore, she wrote the most glittery entry there is. she glued multicolored moon sequins to one side of the whole page and practically sprayed the 2 pages with pink glue glitter... definitely unforgettable... lol...
well...nothing else to pen...or type... so i'll be shoving off now...
ciao.....
the good news is this: as of yesterday, i have a new baby cousin!!! YAY!!! remember i had written that one of my aunts was expecting? and i hoped it was a boy? well...it is!! a boy, i mean. lol.... my uncle Dani is as proud as punch. his first son, Damien, is already quite protective of the baby. he calls it 'Damien's baby' and when the baby cries, he admonishes it by saying,'Keep quiet! Sit down!', a phrase he learnt in nursery school.... LOL! isnt that just the cutest thing??? i really wish that i could see the new baby( he hasnt been named yet) and Damien, too. Damien is the cutest lil' kid!!! but they live all the way in bangalore and i am here in kerala. and i cant go because my dad is arriving from riyadh in 3 days and i have to shove off to college by next week!!! Daym!
well...now the sad news.... shilpa has left for NIT Warangal, today. she called me frm the train station to say goodbye. i cant believe she's gone!!! gosh... i feel miserable about the fact that i may never see her again. she's one of the bestest best friends i ever had. and she still is... and now she's gone off to warangal!!!! boo hoo...sob!!! this is a very sad day.....
i was watching the movie Kate & Leopold when she called. K&L is a really good movie as far as romantic movies go. its fun, its sweet and its romantic without going over the top. i think every girl should go out with a Leopold, at least once in her life. i wish i could. but maybe i'm biased because Hugh Jackman played the part( which he does magnificently) and i have had a crush on him FOREVER.... *sigh*.
oooooo....shilpa just called me... her train is late. so she isnt gone just yet... but i guess its inevitable... this is the conundrum called life. sheen, who has been my best friend since God only knows when(and who is in australia now), says that going away to college is an experience i should embrace to start over. i now have the opportunity to live life as i see fit. to make aquaintances with people i have never laid eyes on and who could be an integral part of the next 5 years and possibly, the rest of my life! which is all true. and well and good. but leaving friends is just painful...
last night, i couldnt sleep. so i took up my slam book and started reading. almost all my friends have written in there. shilpa's page was a bit stuck. i told her to make it as colrful and bright as possible, so i would never forget the bright and colorful person she is. therefore, she wrote the most glittery entry there is. she glued multicolored moon sequins to one side of the whole page and practically sprayed the 2 pages with pink glue glitter... definitely unforgettable... lol...
well...nothing else to pen...or type... so i'll be shoving off now...
ciao.....
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I Hate Having More Time Than I Know What To Do With
well..... right now my title has no connection with what i'm going to say.... i gotta run..... i forgot about posting until the last moment(i'm in a cafe right now and i gotta go home) and i thought it would be a shame to let down my readers(namely, sagar)(i'm only saying this coz he's the only one who's commented in the last 5 days) (sagar, this doesnt mean u should stop commenting)(lol).... i know shilpa would comment if she's reading...she always does....
well nothing much happened today. i had to wake up early, to go to breakfast at my grandmother's cousin's place, which wasnt really a fun thing for me, considering that there were only old people there. i only went to spare my mother the shame of saying that her daughter is a late sleeper, which seems to be a big crime in these parts.
o man. i was going to go home. and now its raining. my grandmother will kill me for not coming back sooner. my mom just called asking whether she should come with an umbrella or not. i said that it wasnt necessary. lol... now i can stay till the rain fades...yippee!
o damn. rain just stopped.
anyways...as i was saying. after we came back from a very not- so- satisfying breakfast, my grandfatehr asked me to wipe down his car(its a ford ikon)(he loves it waaay too much), which i do as a dutiful granddaughter should, albeit reluctantly. and then he asks my sister to clean out the garage.... and my head goes "HAAALLELUIAH!!!" believe me..she got the worse of the job. that old car shed is the housing colony of various creepy-crawlies. predominantly, spiders. yeuch! it is also inhabited by roaches, grasshoppers and other slimy, winged and six-legged creatures. i nearly laughed out loud at the look on evie's face... but then i realised what a bad situation it was and pitied her.
anyways after that we had visitors....this newly married couple. the guy is my 2nd cousin, apparently. its funny how many relatives i have that i dont even know about. and ones who live just behind my house, that too. can u imagine? its mostly 2nd cousins, though. my granparents have(and had) a helllotta siblings. how did their parents manage in those times???
and then of course i came online...well thats it for now...i have to scoot back home. i wonder if i have enough cash with me.... ahh well.....
ciao
ann
well nothing much happened today. i had to wake up early, to go to breakfast at my grandmother's cousin's place, which wasnt really a fun thing for me, considering that there were only old people there. i only went to spare my mother the shame of saying that her daughter is a late sleeper, which seems to be a big crime in these parts.
o man. i was going to go home. and now its raining. my grandmother will kill me for not coming back sooner. my mom just called asking whether she should come with an umbrella or not. i said that it wasnt necessary. lol... now i can stay till the rain fades...yippee!
o damn. rain just stopped.
anyways...as i was saying. after we came back from a very not- so- satisfying breakfast, my grandfatehr asked me to wipe down his car(its a ford ikon)(he loves it waaay too much), which i do as a dutiful granddaughter should, albeit reluctantly. and then he asks my sister to clean out the garage.... and my head goes "HAAALLELUIAH!!!" believe me..she got the worse of the job. that old car shed is the housing colony of various creepy-crawlies. predominantly, spiders. yeuch! it is also inhabited by roaches, grasshoppers and other slimy, winged and six-legged creatures. i nearly laughed out loud at the look on evie's face... but then i realised what a bad situation it was and pitied her.
anyways after that we had visitors....this newly married couple. the guy is my 2nd cousin, apparently. its funny how many relatives i have that i dont even know about. and ones who live just behind my house, that too. can u imagine? its mostly 2nd cousins, though. my granparents have(and had) a helllotta siblings. how did their parents manage in those times???
and then of course i came online...well thats it for now...i have to scoot back home. i wonder if i have enough cash with me.... ahh well.....
ciao
ann
Sunday, July 8, 2007
I Cant Believe I Dont Just Spontaneously Combust
i am not saying much today. i am seriously pissed at my mother for her lack of trust in me. she thinks that just because i spend time on the phone and on the net and sleep till 11 in the morning, i am irresponsible.
irresponsible? IRRESPONSIBLE??? just because i act exactly like a teenager by staying up late at nights writing in my diary? i have never been irresponsible in all my teenage life!!! except for a few mishaps here and there, of course. but EVERYBODY has those!!! everybody stays up late, everybody talks to their friends on their cell and online!! everybody sleeps till 12 in the f*****g morning!!! and I, I am the ONLY one who is irresponsible???
she says that i should get up in the morning. FOR WHAT, i ask you? for what? hmm let me see... what are the things i can do today to fill up my life and make it more worthwhile? oh, i know! maybe i can study! but wait, wait a minute, i'm out of school! i dont have ANYTHING TO STUDY... or aybe i could read...but the only thing to read in my mom's place are my aunt's old romance novels. and they are all boring!! believe me, i tried to read those works of trash.(i always thought that romance novels are highly unrealistic. for one thing, the hero and heroine are always said to be handsome and beautiful and for another thing, either one of them or both of them will be rich)....i dont have anything to DO!!!!! why the bloody hell should i wake up??? huh? HUH? there is no reason at all, none whatsoever, for me to be up at 10 in the morning, let alone 12.
what surprises me the most is that my mother knows all this and she also knows that unless i have a reason, i hate, absolutely LOATHE, waking up early. i have always been a nocturnal person. and she knows all this!!! which is why i dont understand what she wants from me. i'm on a break for God's sake!! leave me alone!!
wow...i sound like such a child. its amazing, really. how much i've changed... i used to think my parents were always right. i have never, ever fought with my parents, never raised my voice at them, never disrespected them in any way. and i still dont. i dont think i ever could. if its one thing i hate to feel, its letting my parents down. or anybody that i care for, for that matter. it sickens me to know that they're not proud of me. jus because i got a lousy 74.6% on my boards. just because all my friends got a higher percentage than me. and because of all these things i've let them down.
i used to be the girl who scored 86.6% in tenth. and i did it without tuitions and at the same time being an active participant in all church activities. everybody discouraged my parents at that time. they said being so involved would get my studies down. and i proved them wrong. not only did i take part in all church stuff, i also played interschool and i attended the marthoma gulf youth conference in kuwait, one and half months before my 10th boards. and i got 86.6%. i was soo happy.
but i believe the biggest difference from the 15 year old me and the 17 year old me is my faith in God. in 10th, i loved God more than anything else. in 12th, i became over-confident. i think i thought that i didnt need Him anymore. and that, i have learned, is the worst thing any believer can think. also in 10th i worked damn hard because i HAD to prove people wrong. i HAD something to prove. in 12th everyone had full confidence in me. they sid that since i had done it once before, i could do it again. little known to them, for some reason i had lost all motivation to study. i didnt give a damn anymore.
and now, i have to bear the consequence of my stupidity. and i bear it alone. yesterday all i could ask God was why. why am i this way? why dont i care for anyone or anything anymore? why cant i understand myself? and all i could do was cry. this was another thing i hardly ever did. but its become a frequent thing over the past few months. i thought i was over my cry-baby stage. apparently not. huh.....
gosh....this has become quite depressing hasnt it? sorry guys.... lemme dig up some happy news...
well... for one thing... shilpa's in kerala!!! i was soo happy to receive a call from her the day before. we talked on and on.... there were so many things to talk about. i cant believe i havent seen ANY of my friends for the last 3 months! i called her yesterday as well.... and of course we went on talking and talking... there's never a day i dont thank God for the friends i have. u guys are THE BEST!!
anyway... i think thats it for now... i have plenty more to say, but i wont 'coz i fear i would just be repeating myself.
well alritey then guys and gals, i'll be shoving off....
ann....
irresponsible? IRRESPONSIBLE??? just because i act exactly like a teenager by staying up late at nights writing in my diary? i have never been irresponsible in all my teenage life!!! except for a few mishaps here and there, of course. but EVERYBODY has those!!! everybody stays up late, everybody talks to their friends on their cell and online!! everybody sleeps till 12 in the f*****g morning!!! and I, I am the ONLY one who is irresponsible???
she says that i should get up in the morning. FOR WHAT, i ask you? for what? hmm let me see... what are the things i can do today to fill up my life and make it more worthwhile? oh, i know! maybe i can study! but wait, wait a minute, i'm out of school! i dont have ANYTHING TO STUDY... or aybe i could read...but the only thing to read in my mom's place are my aunt's old romance novels. and they are all boring!! believe me, i tried to read those works of trash.(i always thought that romance novels are highly unrealistic. for one thing, the hero and heroine are always said to be handsome and beautiful and for another thing, either one of them or both of them will be rich)....i dont have anything to DO!!!!! why the bloody hell should i wake up??? huh? HUH? there is no reason at all, none whatsoever, for me to be up at 10 in the morning, let alone 12.
what surprises me the most is that my mother knows all this and she also knows that unless i have a reason, i hate, absolutely LOATHE, waking up early. i have always been a nocturnal person. and she knows all this!!! which is why i dont understand what she wants from me. i'm on a break for God's sake!! leave me alone!!
wow...i sound like such a child. its amazing, really. how much i've changed... i used to think my parents were always right. i have never, ever fought with my parents, never raised my voice at them, never disrespected them in any way. and i still dont. i dont think i ever could. if its one thing i hate to feel, its letting my parents down. or anybody that i care for, for that matter. it sickens me to know that they're not proud of me. jus because i got a lousy 74.6% on my boards. just because all my friends got a higher percentage than me. and because of all these things i've let them down.
i used to be the girl who scored 86.6% in tenth. and i did it without tuitions and at the same time being an active participant in all church activities. everybody discouraged my parents at that time. they said being so involved would get my studies down. and i proved them wrong. not only did i take part in all church stuff, i also played interschool and i attended the marthoma gulf youth conference in kuwait, one and half months before my 10th boards. and i got 86.6%. i was soo happy.
but i believe the biggest difference from the 15 year old me and the 17 year old me is my faith in God. in 10th, i loved God more than anything else. in 12th, i became over-confident. i think i thought that i didnt need Him anymore. and that, i have learned, is the worst thing any believer can think. also in 10th i worked damn hard because i HAD to prove people wrong. i HAD something to prove. in 12th everyone had full confidence in me. they sid that since i had done it once before, i could do it again. little known to them, for some reason i had lost all motivation to study. i didnt give a damn anymore.
and now, i have to bear the consequence of my stupidity. and i bear it alone. yesterday all i could ask God was why. why am i this way? why dont i care for anyone or anything anymore? why cant i understand myself? and all i could do was cry. this was another thing i hardly ever did. but its become a frequent thing over the past few months. i thought i was over my cry-baby stage. apparently not. huh.....
gosh....this has become quite depressing hasnt it? sorry guys.... lemme dig up some happy news...
well... for one thing... shilpa's in kerala!!! i was soo happy to receive a call from her the day before. we talked on and on.... there were so many things to talk about. i cant believe i havent seen ANY of my friends for the last 3 months! i called her yesterday as well.... and of course we went on talking and talking... there's never a day i dont thank God for the friends i have. u guys are THE BEST!!
anyway... i think thats it for now... i have plenty more to say, but i wont 'coz i fear i would just be repeating myself.
well alritey then guys and gals, i'll be shoving off....
ann....
Friday, July 6, 2007
Things Left Unsaid
right now I'm in an internet cafe and nobody's online. i just read shilpa's mail and I'm all senti.... its unbelivable. i feel this whole sense of unreality descending on me. while i'm happy that shilpa is in Kerala and that our clan is completely here, I'm also at this moment feeling kind of lost. shilpa was one of the last of my best friends to get out of that place... the last real connection to riyadh city(other than my parents) and now its all for certain. we're going to college. our lives are going to change beyond recognition. we're going to meet new people, new teachers and have new experiences. and most of all and worst of all...we wont be with each other.
so this post is to all my friends, who've been there through the best and the worst times of my life. this post is to all my friends....the old and the new, the guys and the girls.
of all my friends, the one who stands out the most is maryann. literally as well as figuratively. girl...u have been a rock to me. i'll never forget the times we had... lambasting boys, playing basketball( remember how nobody used to let us play on the same team???), playing pranks on classmates and yugs, bunking classes together(official bunking rullz!!)...the list goes on and on.... oh, and of course i'll never forget interschool with u. gurl with u on any side..they will never lose. i had the best four years of my life with u... thank u doesnt even cut it.
then there is beena and aparna...the two of u are like paper and glue!! an unstoppable team... i know there have been times when i wasnt fair to both of you and i am sincerely sorry for that. but we moved on to become such an awesome team together... from basketball to decorating corridoors and classrooms to winning talentia... we were the bomb!! i'll never forget the love and support and most of all- the fun!!!
next of course, is shilpa and nimisha. a crazy pair if there ever was one. the systematic and intensely loyal nimi and the colorful and bubbly shalapolia. you guys are the best EVER! i cannot remember a time when nimi and i didnt stand and talk after school, waiting for our dads to pick us up. i dont know why but just hearing your voice makes me laugh. you've been a great comfort to me over the past 6 years that i have known you...thank u gurl....
and shilpa,chippy, sippy, shilps... homie....what would i do without YOU?? without u there wouldnt be andaman or bykergurl... there would be nobody to glitter up the pages of my slambook or bring sparkle, flair and colour to my life... i can honestly say that u and nimisha are the style gurus of our clan...
and of course limia, geslin and shadia....limca!!!! comic genius!!! u've cracked us up more times than i can rememeber!! ur imitations and sound effects are the BEST!!! missing you!!!
geslin...who else will i discuss the ethnicity and ultimate hotness of keanu reeves with??? ur such a fab girl and i had soo much fun with you!!!
shaddo...shady!!! when will i ever see that pretty face again?? i know i was not all that close to you, but the 9 of us would never have been complete without you!!
u girls are the dearest people i ever knew...the best part of my life. you've stuck with me even when i was bossy and arrogant...u guys were with me all through the crazy nemo phase... there are no words to describe exactly how sad and happy i am right now. my life was so empty without u all... i thank God that we all found each other.
and of course i will never forget the best batch of girls to hit IISR.... XII - G, batch of 2006 - 07.....u are the best bunch of gurls EVER!!! the best classmates i ever had the privilege to be with. our shared experiences and the fun i had with you all are unforgettable and mind-blowing!!!
next are the guys who made the last two months of my life fun. the only ting i could do was watch tv and go online... and online is where i found the nuttiest guys i know. jibin,antony, naimul, sagar and arun... u guys are the closest i've come to being friends with guys. thats because in riyadh i was always closeted up... somehow i never met guys my age that i liked... but anyway thank you so much... you people are truly cracked and i had fun chatting to u all...LOL...
alrught then...i would love to go on and on but i am cut short by time... i love all of you... in your own special way u have shaped my life and the person i am today. u have each of you brought out a different trait in me and wish all of you ouit there the best of luck....
always and forever...
ann
so this post is to all my friends, who've been there through the best and the worst times of my life. this post is to all my friends....the old and the new, the guys and the girls.
of all my friends, the one who stands out the most is maryann. literally as well as figuratively. girl...u have been a rock to me. i'll never forget the times we had... lambasting boys, playing basketball( remember how nobody used to let us play on the same team???), playing pranks on classmates and yugs, bunking classes together(official bunking rullz!!)...the list goes on and on.... oh, and of course i'll never forget interschool with u. gurl with u on any side..they will never lose. i had the best four years of my life with u... thank u doesnt even cut it.
then there is beena and aparna...the two of u are like paper and glue!! an unstoppable team... i know there have been times when i wasnt fair to both of you and i am sincerely sorry for that. but we moved on to become such an awesome team together... from basketball to decorating corridoors and classrooms to winning talentia... we were the bomb!! i'll never forget the love and support and most of all- the fun!!!
next of course, is shilpa and nimisha. a crazy pair if there ever was one. the systematic and intensely loyal nimi and the colorful and bubbly shalapolia. you guys are the best EVER! i cannot remember a time when nimi and i didnt stand and talk after school, waiting for our dads to pick us up. i dont know why but just hearing your voice makes me laugh. you've been a great comfort to me over the past 6 years that i have known you...thank u gurl....
and shilpa,chippy, sippy, shilps... homie....what would i do without YOU?? without u there wouldnt be andaman or bykergurl... there would be nobody to glitter up the pages of my slambook or bring sparkle, flair and colour to my life... i can honestly say that u and nimisha are the style gurus of our clan...
and of course limia, geslin and shadia....limca!!!! comic genius!!! u've cracked us up more times than i can rememeber!! ur imitations and sound effects are the BEST!!! missing you!!!
geslin...who else will i discuss the ethnicity and ultimate hotness of keanu reeves with??? ur such a fab girl and i had soo much fun with you!!!
shaddo...shady!!! when will i ever see that pretty face again?? i know i was not all that close to you, but the 9 of us would never have been complete without you!!
u girls are the dearest people i ever knew...the best part of my life. you've stuck with me even when i was bossy and arrogant...u guys were with me all through the crazy nemo phase... there are no words to describe exactly how sad and happy i am right now. my life was so empty without u all... i thank God that we all found each other.
and of course i will never forget the best batch of girls to hit IISR.... XII - G, batch of 2006 - 07.....u are the best bunch of gurls EVER!!! the best classmates i ever had the privilege to be with. our shared experiences and the fun i had with you all are unforgettable and mind-blowing!!!
next are the guys who made the last two months of my life fun. the only ting i could do was watch tv and go online... and online is where i found the nuttiest guys i know. jibin,antony, naimul, sagar and arun... u guys are the closest i've come to being friends with guys. thats because in riyadh i was always closeted up... somehow i never met guys my age that i liked... but anyway thank you so much... you people are truly cracked and i had fun chatting to u all...LOL...
alrught then...i would love to go on and on but i am cut short by time... i love all of you... in your own special way u have shaped my life and the person i am today. u have each of you brought out a different trait in me and wish all of you ouit there the best of luck....
always and forever...
ann
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
A Poem About Falling Into A Trap...
hey y'all...
well, i'm back again. and i have a new poem for all of you. the theme of the poem is about falling into a trap and about the eventuality of all traps. its about personal insecurities and about how, once we get caught up in something we cant get out of, we understand where and how we went wrong and how we come to regret our decision, only to realise that we're too late to change anything. it is untitled. here it is:
well, i'm back again. and i have a new poem for all of you. the theme of the poem is about falling into a trap and about the eventuality of all traps. its about personal insecurities and about how, once we get caught up in something we cant get out of, we understand where and how we went wrong and how we come to regret our decision, only to realise that we're too late to change anything. it is untitled. here it is:
I knew I wasn't invincible
But then I really didn't care
I thought that I was defensive
That I'd never fall into a snare.
But now this snare has snagged me
Its dragged me through the dirt
I'm hanging by my ankles,
And Man, does it hurt!
I should have paid more heed
To where my feet would step
And so now i hang, upside-down,
With noone here to help.
Before, when i was walking,
I had felt that i would die
The path i tread had hurt me so
Causing me to cry.
But now that I'm off the ground
That hurt cannot compare
To how I feel at the moment-
Hanging in despair.
And now as gravity's pulling down
A rush of blood to my head,
My muscles will soon atrophy;
My body feels like lead.
This is how I am
My situation worsens
Every second that i hang,
Death to me beckons.
Can i shut my eyes
And quietly realise
Of how my faults and lies
Dealt me this bad surprise?
But it really shouldn't surprise me
I was and am appaling.
I knew this is how it would be
And so now, I am falling.
I land right on my head
I hear a crunching crack
I gasp in sudden pain and shock
As everything goes black.
Monday, July 2, 2007
A Major Portion Of My Life
i was always good at english. i'm not bragging... its true. i owe this fact to my parents who encouraged me to not only read and write english, but to speak it. there was also the fact that my parents are not what i call "typical mallus".
my father is a born and brought up NRI. he spent most of his childhood in Bahrain and Riyadh, and his twenties in Bangalore. rumour has it that he was quite the wild one(although he has never showed that particular side to me and people who meet him now would never guess).
and my mother was brought up by my british educated grandmother, and she and her two brothers grew up with english music blaring in the house.
anyways the long and short of it is that both my parents are people who move with the world and they brought me up to be the same. Thank you, Mum and Dad!!! i would not be who i am today without you!
so right now let me introduce to u a part of my psych that only my closest friends knew about. welcome to my world of rhyme, and lost and found illusions of reality. my poetry.
my poems are my escape from all the things that bother me. it is my medium of release. it clears my mind and cleanses my soul of all negative things, which is why almost all my poems drip with depression.
but the one that i am posting today is slightly bittersweet. i wrote it at a time i thought that i had found a special person in my life. now this poem does not apply to that person. but i still think its one of my better works. its dated october 31, 2007; tuesday; 12:35 a.m
my father is a born and brought up NRI. he spent most of his childhood in Bahrain and Riyadh, and his twenties in Bangalore. rumour has it that he was quite the wild one(although he has never showed that particular side to me and people who meet him now would never guess).
and my mother was brought up by my british educated grandmother, and she and her two brothers grew up with english music blaring in the house.
anyways the long and short of it is that both my parents are people who move with the world and they brought me up to be the same. Thank you, Mum and Dad!!! i would not be who i am today without you!
so right now let me introduce to u a part of my psych that only my closest friends knew about. welcome to my world of rhyme, and lost and found illusions of reality. my poetry.
my poems are my escape from all the things that bother me. it is my medium of release. it clears my mind and cleanses my soul of all negative things, which is why almost all my poems drip with depression.
but the one that i am posting today is slightly bittersweet. i wrote it at a time i thought that i had found a special person in my life. now this poem does not apply to that person. but i still think its one of my better works. its dated october 31, 2007; tuesday; 12:35 a.m
DEAR TO ME
What karma is it
That brought us together
didn't even notice it
But now I'm all a dither.
Because u noticed
And i dont know how to handle it
Because you seem to
Take my heart and dismantle it.
I'm so frustrated
With all that i can't say or do
There's not a half hour
My thoughts dont turn to you.
How can i keep it up
When u call me exceptional?
I'm so wrapped in you
I'm becoming disfunctonal.
But at the same time
You are my inspiration
I do what i have to
'Coz you give me the motivation.
I may not know what to believe
I dont know what is to be
But i do know how i feel-
That you are dear to me.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
A Whole Lot of Random Topics
hey peeps...
sorry thta i havent written anything for the past couple of days, but i was out of station. i had to go and visit my college in coimbatore. man, what a long journey that was!! its 6 hours from here(that is, thiruvalla) to coimbatore. but thankfully my uncle has rented this big Toyota Innova and the drive was pretty comfortable. and of course, what is any journey without my favorite music??
for those of u i havent updated yet...i'll be attending Tamil Nadu College of Engineering, coimbatore. my college is 20 kms away from the city. the college looks pretty ok. its got awesome facilities and the hostel is neat and clean. but i didnt like the look of the basketball court so much. and u guys know how important that is to me. i feel like a part of me has melted away due to the fact that i havent played that awesome game for more than 4 months!!! i remember when i was in 10th grade. basketball wasnt just a sport...it was an obsession. if i didnt play for one day it was as if i had missed some important organ of my body. but now, due to unfortunate circumstances, i have become used to the feeling of missing that important part of my life. hopefully college will cure me of that....
oh hey...y'all heard bout jibin having chikun gunia(is that the right spelling? why does noone know the right spelling???), right? it came as a big surprise to me that someone that i knew and who was my friend was ill with such a potentially fatal disease. made me wonder about how sometimes life can pull the carpet from underneath you, while ur standing on it.
in the meantime i have been reading and watching tv, two of my very favorite pastimes. i read this book called 'Prairie Fire' which is a romance novel that i found in a christian bookshop. and of course the book tells a lot of things involving relationships and christianity. which i found helpful, i might add. its always confused me, u know? i mean what does GOD think about our romantic linkups? does he approve? does he disapprove? i mean, u always hear that God is Love... but at the same time, we hear our parents telling us that its wrong to get involved in a romantic relationship. i mean, C'MON!! how can they expect us not to feel???? lol.... but seriously.....
well anyways...thats all the posting i can muster for today. i gotta go and dress up. i have to visit my aunt's parents who are going to bangalore(or is it bangaluroo??)(whatever..) to help her( ie, my aunt) in her last month of pregnancy. i'm gonna get a brand new cousin!!! i hope its a boy... there's a shortage of boys in the family..hehe...
alritey then, mes amigos..
ciao!
sorry thta i havent written anything for the past couple of days, but i was out of station. i had to go and visit my college in coimbatore. man, what a long journey that was!! its 6 hours from here(that is, thiruvalla) to coimbatore. but thankfully my uncle has rented this big Toyota Innova and the drive was pretty comfortable. and of course, what is any journey without my favorite music??
for those of u i havent updated yet...i'll be attending Tamil Nadu College of Engineering, coimbatore. my college is 20 kms away from the city. the college looks pretty ok. its got awesome facilities and the hostel is neat and clean. but i didnt like the look of the basketball court so much. and u guys know how important that is to me. i feel like a part of me has melted away due to the fact that i havent played that awesome game for more than 4 months!!! i remember when i was in 10th grade. basketball wasnt just a sport...it was an obsession. if i didnt play for one day it was as if i had missed some important organ of my body. but now, due to unfortunate circumstances, i have become used to the feeling of missing that important part of my life. hopefully college will cure me of that....
oh hey...y'all heard bout jibin having chikun gunia(is that the right spelling? why does noone know the right spelling???), right? it came as a big surprise to me that someone that i knew and who was my friend was ill with such a potentially fatal disease. made me wonder about how sometimes life can pull the carpet from underneath you, while ur standing on it.
in the meantime i have been reading and watching tv, two of my very favorite pastimes. i read this book called 'Prairie Fire' which is a romance novel that i found in a christian bookshop. and of course the book tells a lot of things involving relationships and christianity. which i found helpful, i might add. its always confused me, u know? i mean what does GOD think about our romantic linkups? does he approve? does he disapprove? i mean, u always hear that God is Love... but at the same time, we hear our parents telling us that its wrong to get involved in a romantic relationship. i mean, C'MON!! how can they expect us not to feel???? lol.... but seriously.....
well anyways...thats all the posting i can muster for today. i gotta go and dress up. i have to visit my aunt's parents who are going to bangalore(or is it bangaluroo??)(whatever..) to help her( ie, my aunt) in her last month of pregnancy. i'm gonna get a brand new cousin!!! i hope its a boy... there's a shortage of boys in the family..hehe...
alritey then, mes amigos..
ciao!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
i am blogging!!!!
hi all!!!!
for all u very frequent intermet users out there... the fact thst i started a blog may not be surprising... but as my friends all know... this is the first time in ages...and i mean AGES... that i ever had proper access to the net... right now, my writing has an informal edge... but my style will change depending on the mood i am in at that moment... consistency is not one of my strengths... but its not exactly a bad thing either...
right... so... that was a bit about me... plenty more about me later...
like i said about being consistent... i might not post something everyday...i will in most likelihood forget that i have a blog in the first place..(heehee)... but not to fear.... u may be sure that i will write something. haha!
well then, fare-thee-well fellow comrades!!
i shall write again...later. right now i have to scoot back home before i incur the wrath of my beautiful, but slightly scary, mother.... dear mother, she loves me too much.
cyanara for now dudes and dudettes!!
always, ann.....
for all u very frequent intermet users out there... the fact thst i started a blog may not be surprising... but as my friends all know... this is the first time in ages...and i mean AGES... that i ever had proper access to the net... right now, my writing has an informal edge... but my style will change depending on the mood i am in at that moment... consistency is not one of my strengths... but its not exactly a bad thing either...
right... so... that was a bit about me... plenty more about me later...
like i said about being consistent... i might not post something everyday...i will in most likelihood forget that i have a blog in the first place..(heehee)... but not to fear.... u may be sure that i will write something. haha!
well then, fare-thee-well fellow comrades!!
i shall write again...later. right now i have to scoot back home before i incur the wrath of my beautiful, but slightly scary, mother.... dear mother, she loves me too much.
cyanara for now dudes and dudettes!!
always, ann.....
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